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kidnapmyheart
Take me away cause falling in love ain't very far
information
shut up and sit down

There's one thing a quote does that nothing and no-one else can do; it can become a part of you. You may never meet the person who said it, but that person is now a companion. Quotes help you get over pain. Feel loved. Make you smile & laugh and help you through those tough days when you think no-one else knows what you're going through. To share your english quotes, tagalog quotes, jokes, corny pick-up lines, bob ong quotes just send them at quotesbox@yahoo.com or 09199573767 for SMART 09275990427 for GLOBE.


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hook me up

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tagboard
scream your lungs

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scary flashbacks

SPECIAL POSTS

Twilight 1-30

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES

Inspirational Quotes 1- 30
Inspirational Quotes 31- 60

QUOTES

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SHORT STORIES

Short Stories 1-30

TAGALOG QUOTES

Tagalog Quotes 1- 25
Tagalog Quotes 26- 50
Tagalog Quotes 51- 75
Tagalog Quotes 76- 100
Tagalog Quotes 101 -130
Tagalog Quotes 131- 160
Tagalog Quotes 161 - 180
Tagalog Quotes 181 - 210

BOB ONG QUOTES

Bob Ong Tips
Bob Ong Quotes 1- 25
Bob Ong Quotes 26-50
Bob Ong Quotes 51 - 80

JOKES

Jokes 1 - 30
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Jokes 151 - 180
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Jokes 301 - 330
Jokes 331 - 360
Jokes 361 - 390

CORNY PICK - UP LINES

Pick - up Lines 1- 20
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Pick - up Lines 61 - 80
Pick - up Lines 81 - 100
misc
anything goes here


credits
its easy to clap
Layout : materialisti-c
Resources:
Jokes 361 - 390
Saturday, November 14, 20091:09 PM
361. We are all driving in our roads called life. In every turn, don’t forget to stop. Why? Baka may tagay, e di shot muna.

362. Tanong pang- beauty contest, “Kung ikaw ay maganda, sinong may sabi at saan daw banda?”

363. 5 things na wish mong sabihin sa’yo ng nanay mo.
1. Anak, gising na pero kung natok ka pa tulog ka pa magpalate ka na lang sa subject mo.
2. Oh eto allowance mo. May dagdag yan pang – gimik.
3. Amoy alak ka? Nag – jamming kayo Di mo ko sinama.
4. Gabi na, tulog ka na. Bukas samahan mo ako, bili tayo ng bagong cellphone mo.
5. Tumawag dean nyo, bagsak ka daw. Okay lang yan, may next sem pa naman eh.

364. Kung may magtanong sayo na “Ano gawa mo?” Ang pinakamagandang sagot diyan ay, “Wala, gusto mo gawa tayo.”

365. Anong sinabi ni apple nung tumingin sa kanya si pinya?
Apple: Oi, ikaw. Anong tinitingin tingin tingin tingin tingin tingin tingin tingin tingin tingin tingin tingin tingin mo dyan?
Ano namang sinagot ni pinya kay apple?
Pinya: Eh bakit ka namumula? Cursh mo ako no?

366. Simula ng lumabas ang Dota, nauso ang Single Ladies.

367. Juan: Nay, alis nap o ao. Malelate na ako sa school.
Nanay: Anal sandali eto ung baon mong sandwich at juice. Eto na din ung pananghalian mo para mamayang lunchbreak. Eto ung panyo, 2 bimpo, extra shirt at shorts baka pawisan ka at madumihan. Eto na din ang pulbos at cologne mo. Nasa bag na yung tubig pati yung payong at sombrero mo. May tsinelas na din jan pag pagod na paa mo sa shoes. O, eto perang pamasahe.
Juan: Ampotah! CAmpin?! Absent na lang kayo ako nay?

368. Sa loob ng hotel, aksidenteng nabannga ng bellboy ang suso ng isang babaeng guest.
Bellboy: Sorry po. Kung ang puso nyo ay kasing lambot ng suso nyo, mapapatawad nyo ako.
Babae: Kung kasing tigas naman ng etits mo ang siko mo, nasa room 201 lang ako.

369. Walang madilim na daan, masamang pakiramdam at malakas na ulan kung jowa ang pupuntahan.

370. Isang araw sa may tindahan
Pulubi: Palimos po.
Tindero: Wala po, patawad.
P: Sige na po, hait magkano.
T: Siya sige, eto dos.
P: Salamat po ng marami. Isang Marlboro nga po.

371. “Kahit tawagin pa nila akong plastic, hinding – hindi kita iiwan lalo na pag nasa gitna ka ng laban.”
- Condom

372. Sa isang tahimik na kanto
Lola: Iho, tulungan mo ako. Isa akong prinsesa, ako’s isnumpa. Kung ako’y iyong gagahasain, babalik ako sa maganda kong anyo at tuluyang mapuputol ang sumpa.
(Makaraan ang ilang sandali)
Lalaki: Yan lola, tapos na ho. Bakit di ka pa nagpapalit ng anyo?
Lola: Ilan taon ka na iho?
Lalaki: 22 po.
Lola: Tanda mong yan naniniwala ka pa sa fairytales. You are such a loser.

373. Juan: Oi, ano yan? Pinya? Penge naman.
Pedro: Penge? Asan ka nung nagtanim ako? Nung oras na nag – aani ako? Nung naghihirap ako? Asan ka?
Juan: Nakulong kasi ako e, nakapatay ako ng madamot.
Pedro: Ah, ganun ba? Kuha ka na. May papaya pa dun, gust mo?

374. B: Miss, para kang saranggola.
G: Alam ko nay an, para akong magandang ibong lumilipad.
B: Mali, para kang saranggola sa malayo lang maganda.

375. G: Redhorse ka ba?
B: Hindi, bakit?
G: Lakas kasi ng tama mo.
B: Ganun? Kaw ata ang red horse eh.
G: Bakit naman?
B: Mukha ka kasing kabayo?

376. Julilit, julilit witih sah masukech. Kung gumuyang, gumuyang ang jutei jutei. Julilit kung gumuyang ang jutei jutei.
- Batang bading na bagong lipat sa Camella Homes

377. Bf and gf inside a motel, nakahubad.
Gf: Bulilit, bulilit ang liit liit.
Bf: Bulilit, bulilit sana’y sa masikip.

378. Lolo: Paki – abot naman yang posporo.
Lola: Andiyan naman ang kalan e.
Lolo: So ipantitinga ko ang kalan?

379. You know what is the best part of dreams? You get the person you want, to love and never let go. And you what the worst part is? Titikman mo na siya, nagising ka pa.

380. Apo: Look at those Big Boats Lolo.
Lolo: Amazing di ba iho? They are called yachts.
Apo: Yachts? How do you spell it Lolo?
Lolo: You are right iho, they are boats.

381. The strong became weak. The genius became stupid. The speechless became talkative. The conservatice became flirty. And it happened because of one thing, lasing.

382. Don’t blame me for being cold dahil hindi ako magmamatigas kung binigyan mo lang sana ako ng importansiya nung una pa lang.
- Nag – eemote nga kaning lamig

383. “Ang buhay ay isang sugal. Kailangang handa kang mawalan kung gusto mo magkaroon.”
– Mahj Ong
“Matuto kang maghirap at magtrabaho, hindi lahat ng oras nasa taas ka.”
- Gul Ong
“Ang lahat ay may katapusan. Hindi maibabalik ng mga luha mo ang dati nang nawala.”
- Kaba Ong
“Kaya mo mang protektahan ang mahalaga sa’yo, sino namang magpoprotekta sa’yo?
- Bub Ong
“Ewan ko sa inyo.”
- Bob Ong

384. Young Romance
(Kids while playing)
Boy: Paabot naman
Girl: Ng ano?
Boy: Ng kamay mo, holding hands tayo.

385. Salawikain na mga College Students:
- Aanhin mo pa ang uno kung singko na ang uso.
- It is better to cheat than to repeat.
- No need to review, kodigo will do.
- Aanhin mo pa ang libro kung scholar ang katabi mo.
- Ang hindi marunong lumingon pag exam, bagsak na malamang.

386. Advisory:
Don’t use real magic sarap seasoning dahil ang tunay na sarap, sa akin mo lang malalasap.

387. A father was trying to teach his son about the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whisky. The worm in the water lived while the one in the whisky curled up and died.
F: All right son, what did you learned from the show?
S: Well dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol hindi ka magkakabulati.

388. Minsan sa pakikipagtext hindi mo alam napapamahal ka nap ala lalo na kung hindi ka unli.

389. Si Inday may nakabanggang bading:
Inday: How dare you ignorant road occupant, moving with such acceleration that caused the elastic collision between my porcelain beauty and your grubby apparenct if skin.
Bading: Shutang ina kang shotulong ka. Najongga ka lang kung anisanis na pinagjojobe mis! Kapag naimbyerna akis sayis

390. NOON:
Pag may hihiramin/tatanungin ka sa kapatid mo na nasa kabilang kwarto, lalabas ka ng kwarto mo at kakatok at magtatanong (o hihiram ng gamit).
NGAYON:
BUZZ!
You: ol?
Sibling: oh? bakit?
You: invi. hahaha
Sibling: bakit nga?
You: tawag ka ni mama.

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