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kidnapmyheart
Take me away cause falling in love ain't very far
information
shut up and sit down

There's one thing a quote does that nothing and no-one else can do; it can become a part of you. You may never meet the person who said it, but that person is now a companion. Quotes help you get over pain. Feel loved. Make you smile & laugh and help you through those tough days when you think no-one else knows what you're going through. To share your english quotes, tagalog quotes, jokes, corny pick-up lines, bob ong quotes just send them at quotesbox@yahoo.com or 09199573767 for SMART 09275990427 for GLOBE.


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SPECIAL POSTS

Twilight 1-30

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES

Inspirational Quotes 1- 30
Inspirational Quotes 31- 60

QUOTES

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SHORT STORIES

Short Stories 1-30

TAGALOG QUOTES

Tagalog Quotes 1- 25
Tagalog Quotes 26- 50
Tagalog Quotes 51- 75
Tagalog Quotes 76- 100
Tagalog Quotes 101 -130
Tagalog Quotes 131- 160
Tagalog Quotes 161 - 180
Tagalog Quotes 181 - 210

BOB ONG QUOTES

Bob Ong Tips
Bob Ong Quotes 1- 25
Bob Ong Quotes 26-50
Bob Ong Quotes 51 - 80

JOKES

Jokes 1 - 30
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Jokes 76 - 100
Jokes 101 -125
Jokes 126 - 150
Jokes 151 - 180
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CORNY PICK - UP LINES

Pick - up Lines 1- 20
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Pick - up Lines 61 - 80
Pick - up Lines 81 - 100
misc
anything goes here


credits
its easy to clap
Layout : materialisti-c
Resources:
Jokes 101-125
Tuesday, August 19, 200810:55 AM
101. Ratio of a good relationship:
Rich BF : Happy GF
Sexy GF : Contented BF
Smart Gf: Under BF
Handsome BF: Problematic GF
Beautiful GF: Proud BF
Atheltic BF: so many GF
Luckiest BF:
Ehem! NURSING ang GF.

102. Si GAS at PAMASAHE nag – uusap:
PAMASAHE: Dahil sa’yo natuto akong magmahal.

103. TEACHER: Ano ang pambansang ibon?
BOY: Chicken?
TEACHER: Hindi! Kulay brown ito.
BOY: Fried Chicken!
TEAACHER: Hindi! Mas maliit ito sa chicken.
BOY: Knorr chicken cubes.
TEACHER: Get out!!!

104. PATIENT: Nurse, ano yan?
NURSE: Stethoscope.
PATIENT: Para san?
NURSE: Pinapakinggan ko lang kung ako ba ang tinitibok ng puso mo.

105. No classes/work until Friday. Two super typhoons are expected to hit the country tomorrow.
- PAG ASA. Pag – asa ng mga tinatamad.

106. Why did God invent menopause?
Once upon a time, a 70 year old woman gave birth.
BISITA: Pwedeng makita ang baby mo?
MOM: Mamaya na.
AFTER 30 minutes
BISITA: Pwede na bang makita?
MOM: Oo, pero hintayin muna naing umiyak kasi nakalimutan ko kung san ko inilagay eh.

107. In a Miss Gay pageant
HOST: How can you uplift our economy today even though we are under economic crisis?
BAKLA: (Namutla) Mga bakla! Akala ko ba Miss Gay ito/ Quizbee pala!

108. Kung maghihintay ka lang ng lalandi sa iyo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo. Dapat, marunong ka din lumandi.
- Boobita Ang (counterpat ni Bob Ong)

109. If you want to remove your wrinkles, pimples, face marks and the 7 signs of skin aging, try ADOBE PHOTOSHOP!:)
110. Being the third party doesn’t mean that your destroying a relationship. It only means that you made two people realize they are not meant to be.
- makabagbag damdaming palusot ng walanghiyang mang – aagaw

111. Ang batang masipag paglaki katulong. Ang batang tamad syempre BOSS! =D

112. New Appointed Muslims in the government:
Finance – Abu Nadu
Justice – Abu Gadu
PNP – Abu Sadu
AFP – Abu Ridu
DSWD – Abu Luy
Agriculture – Abu Noh
Health – Abu Lariu
Customs – Abu Tan Mo

113. Dolfo: Matagal ko ng tinatago ang nararamdaman ko sa iyo. Mahal na mahal kita. Lahat gagawin ko mapasaya ka lang.
Baldo: Akala mo ba ikaw lang ang nagtatago ng nararamdaman? Ako din. Mahal din kita.
Dolfo: Pareng Baldo, wrong send lang ako. Para kay Inday yun. Ikaw ha.

114. Kung amoy putok ka, be proud! Pinagpawisan mo yan.

115. Bunso: Inay, tignan niyo po drawing ko oh.
Inay: Wow! Ang galing namang mag- drawing ng monkey ng bunso ko.
Bunso: Inay, kayo po yan. Llove you ‘nay.

116. It is really nice to see lovers spending their time together. But what’s lovely is when I see lovers fighting because of me. Ahahaha.

117. By persistently remaining single, I am slowly converting myself into a public temptation. Joke:)

118. Teacher: Bert, anong susunod sa 7?
Bert: 8 po!
Teacher: sa 2?
Bert: 3 po!
Teacher: Ang galing mo! Sinong nagturo sa yo?
Bert: Tatay ko po!
Teacher: O sige, anong susunod sa 10?
Bert: Jack po.

119. Sir: Inday, si Sir mo to, nabangga ang kotse ko and I need cash!
Inday: Aru Dugo-Dugo Gang ka no??
Sir: Haha! Si Sir mo talaga to!
Inday: Sira! Si Sir tawag sakin cupcake!

120. Teacher: Juan, ano sinabi ng mga magulang mo ng makita ang grades mo?
Juan: Lahat po ba o tatanggalin ko yung bad words?
Teacher: Tanggalin mo ang bad words.
Juan: Wala po.

121. JR: I know the truth Mom!
Mom: Ha? Ito P500, wag ka lang maingay sa Daddy mo ha?
JR: I know the truth Dad!
Dad: Ha? Ito P1,000, wag ka lang maingay sa Mommy mo ha?
JR: (Ok pala ito ah! Subukan ko nga din sa katulong namin) Inday, alam ko na ang katotohanan!
Inday: Sa wakas! Yakapin mo ako, anak ko!

122. Mrs: Doc, kamusta na po asawa ko?
Doc: Sorry ma'am! Mula ngayon ikaw na ang magpapakain at magpapaligo sa kanya kasi putol na ang mga kamay at paa nya!
Mrs: Di nga?
Doc: Hehe! Joke lang! Patay na sya!ö

123. Juan: Doc, anong deprensya ko?
Dr: cerebellum excavatum.
Juan: tagalugin niyo nga, doc.
Dr: katangahan..
Juan: ano nga uli yung medical term? Baka kase may magtanong.

124. Dan Torred from Bicol nag TNT sa USA.
[at the grocery]
cashier: visa or master?
Dan: [kinabahan] hanap visa ko!!
[nagmadali sakay kotse but he needs gas.]
Gasboy: Pay first!
Dan: [nerbyos] Patay, papers daw!
[run to the phone booth to call home]
Operator: AT&T, can I help you?
Dan: [namutla] alam TNT ako! [pawisang lumabas ng booth.]
Kano: are you done?
Dan: name ko alam nila?
Kano: tourist?
Dan: pati apelyido ko!!
Kano: be cool!
Dan: patay pati probinxa ko? [hinimatay si Dan.]

125. Frat leader: Balita ko, gay ka?!
Member: Hindi ako bakla! Chismax lang yun ng mga chuvanes na walang
magawa sa mga chenelyn nila! Mga chaka ever! Me, Baklush? Haller?!

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