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kidnapmyheart
Take me away cause falling in love ain't very far
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shut up and sit down

There's one thing a quote does that nothing and no-one else can do; it can become a part of you. You may never meet the person who said it, but that person is now a companion. Quotes help you get over pain. Feel loved. Make you smile & laugh and help you through those tough days when you think no-one else knows what you're going through. To share your english quotes, tagalog quotes, jokes, corny pick-up lines, bob ong quotes just send them at quotesbox@yahoo.com or 09199573767 for SMART 09275990427 for GLOBE.


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tagboard
scream your lungs

memories
scary flashbacks

SPECIAL POSTS

Twilight 1-30

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES

Inspirational Quotes 1- 30
Inspirational Quotes 31- 60

QUOTES

Quotes 1- 30
Quotes 31- 60
Quotes 61- 90
Quotes 90- 120
Quotes 121- 150
Quotes 151- 180
Quotes 180- 210
Quotes 211-240
Quotes 240- 270
Quotes 271- 300
Quotes 301- 330
Quotes 331- 360
Quotes 361- 390
Quotes 391- 420
Quotes 421- 450
Quotes 451- 480
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Quotes 571- 600
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Quotes 631- 660
Quotes 661- 690
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Quotes 721- 750
Quotes 751- 780
Quotes 781- 810
Quotes 810 -840
Quotes 841- 870
Quotes 870- 900
Quotes 901- 930
Quotes 931- 960
Quotes 961- 990
Quotes 991-1020
Quotes 1021- 1050
Quotes 1051- 1080
Quotes 1081- 1110
Quotes 1111 - 1140
Quotes 1141 - 1170
Quotes 1171 - 1200
Quotes 1201 - 1230
Quotes 1231 - 1260
Quotes 1261 - 1290
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Quotes 1321 - 1350
Quotes 1351 - 1380
Quotes 1381 - 1410
Quotes 1411 - 1440
Quotes 1441 - 1470
Quotes 1471 - 1500
Quotes 1501 - 1530
Quotes 1531 - 1560
Quotes 1561 - 1590

SHORT STORIES

Short Stories 1-30

TAGALOG QUOTES

Tagalog Quotes 1- 25
Tagalog Quotes 26- 50
Tagalog Quotes 51- 75
Tagalog Quotes 76- 100
Tagalog Quotes 101 -130
Tagalog Quotes 131- 160
Tagalog Quotes 161 - 180
Tagalog Quotes 181 - 210

BOB ONG QUOTES

Bob Ong Tips
Bob Ong Quotes 1- 25
Bob Ong Quotes 26-50
Bob Ong Quotes 51 - 80

JOKES

Jokes 1 - 30
Jokes 31 - 45
Jokes 45 - 75
Jokes 76 - 100
Jokes 101 -125
Jokes 126 - 150
Jokes 151 - 180
Jokes 181 - 210
Jokes 211 - 240
Jokes 241 - 270
Jokes 271 - 300
Jokes 301 - 330
Jokes 331 - 360
Jokes 361 - 390

CORNY PICK - UP LINES

Pick - up Lines 1- 20
Pick - up Lines 21 - 40
Pick - up Lines 41 - 60
Pick - up Lines 61 - 80
Pick - up Lines 81 - 100
misc
anything goes here


credits
its easy to clap
Layout : materialisti-c
Resources:
Jokes 151- 180
Thursday, October 23, 20082:29 PM
151. “Wala naman akong ginagawa sa kanya. Hindi na nga ako gumagalaw dito. Ako na yung natapakan, sya pa nagalit.”
-Tae

152. “Ayoko na! Bakit kapag nagmamahal ako nagagalit sila?”
- gasolina

153. “Hindi lahat ng bubuyog kulay itim!”
-Jollibee

154. “Alam mo, wala na akong hinangad kundi ang mapalapit sayo. Pero patuloy parin ang pag-iwas mo.”
-ipis

155. A cardiologist was buried in a heart shaped coffin. One of the doctors laughed. When asked why, he said: “I’m just thinking about my coffin. I’m a gynecologist.”
156. Why God created menopause:
Once upon a time, a 70- year old woman gave birth
Bisita: Pwedeng makita ang baby mo?
Mom: Mamaya na.
After, 30 minutes
Bisita: Pwede na bang makita?
Mom: Oo, pero hintayin muna nating umiyak sya kasi nakalimutan ko kung san ko nilagay.

157. MOM: Anak, lutuin mo na itong gulay!
SON: Maya na! Ginagawa ko pa tong saranggola.
M: Nyeta! Bakit? Makakain ba yang saranggola?
S: Hindi! Bakit? Lilipad ba yang gulay? Shit Mom.

158. APO: Bilib ako sayo lolo! Sweet heart o honey pa rin ang tawag nyo kay lola. How sweet!
LOLO: Wag ka maingay! Hehe. Nakalimtan ko na kasi ang pangalan ng lola mo.

159. A girl was in love with an ugly man. Her friends asked her, “Why him?” Then the girl replied immediately, “Haler?! Di ka ba nanood ng Beauty and the Beast? Gagwapo din yan eventually.” The guy heard this and said, “Feeling! Napanood mo ba yung Shrek?”

160. I am on a mission to avoid a grade of 5.0, to get rid of 3.0, to get not just 2.5, to go beyond 2.0, to aim more than 1.5 and this mission is MISSION IMPOSSIBLE.

161. G1: Nakipagbreak ka na daw sa boyfriend mo?
G2: oo, hindi kasi sanay humalik. Kainis! Hindi lang yun, isang style lang ang alam. Hindi ko feel.
G1: Anong style ba ang alam ng boyfriend mo?
G2: Flying kiss.

162. Presenting the universities in the country:
1. UP – University of the Philippines
2. PNU – Palpak Nga sa UPCAT
3. UST – UP Sana Tayo!
4. ADMU – Ayaw “Daw” MAg – UP
5. DLSU – Di Lumusot Sa UPCAT
6. FEU- Failed to Enter UP
7. MAPUA – Meron Akong Panaginip, UP Ako
8. ADU – Ako’y Dead sa UPCAT
9. CEU – Cannot Enter UP
10. St. PAUL – Sana Talaga Pumasa Akong UPCAT, Lord
11. PUP – Pekeng UP
12. NU – Negative sa UPCAT
13. UE – UP Expelled
14. UPHS – UP, Pangarap na Hindi Sumaakin
15. BASTE – Bokya, Ayaw Sakin Talaga ng Entrance exam
16. San BEDA- SANa Ba Eh Dun Ako
17. LYCEUM – Loser, You Cannot Enter UP Man!
18. UMAK – UP, Masyadong Ambisyoso Ko
19. LETRAN – Lagpak, Entrance Test ko Roon AY Negative
20, UA & P – UPCAT, Asar and Palpak
--ahaha. Grabe naman ito. Pero proud LYCEAN pa din ako kahit na anong mangyari=D

163. When I was a kid, my nursemaid used to tell me, “someday, you will find that special someone who will be with you forever.” I just smiled and said, “Whatever! You’re such a LOSER yaya!”

164. Those who drink to drown their sorrow should know that sorrom know how to swim. PUCHA! Inom lang ng inom. Pupulikatin din yang sorrow na yan.

165. Fastfood crew: Sir, ano pong order niyo?
Man: 1 large burger and large softdrink.
Crew: Dito niyo po ba kakainin?
Man: Pwede bas a table na lang? Nakakahiya kasi, may nakapila pa sa likuran ko e.

166. A fast beating heart doesn’t always mean love. A blushing face is not always a sigh that you are in love. Sometimes, highblood lang yun

167. Top Signs that ur Favorite Pan de sal & Other Bread Products Have Shrunk to an Alarming Size
1. Your usual 10 minutes breakfast is reduced to 5 minutes.
2. “Brazo de Mercedes” is renamed by bakers as “Daliri de Mercedes.”
3. Your 7yr old daughter approaches you & boasts of a newly-learned stunt from her yaya: “Ang paglunok ng 3 pirasong pan de sal - sabay-sabay!”
4: When you go to the bakery & say, “Pabili nga po ng pan de sal,” the baker would reply, “Ilang tabletas?

168. Mare1: Naku, tataas daw ang pamasahe kaya dapat, simulan na natin mag-reduce!
Mare2: Bakit?
Mare1: Gagawin na daw PER KILO ang pamasahe!

169. Pedro texted Juan.
P: Juan, papasaload naman. Kahet P2.
J: Ok. Napasa ko na.
--Pasaload received--
P: Salamat Juan. Nareceive ko na.
J: Wag ka ng magreply, P2 lang yan.
P: K.

170. Sa text..
Gf: Ayoko na sa yo! Break na tayo!
Bf: Ha? Ano ba problema? Ano kasalanan ko?
Gf: Ay! sorry hon, wrong send. I Love you!
Bf: Haay, kala ko naman kung ano na. I love you too!

171. ANAK: Tay me manok sa kusina tinutuka yung bigas.
TATAY: Paalisin mo.
ANAK: Oy manok alis ka daw.
TATAY: Tanga! Takutin mo!
ANAK: Manok, mumu ako! awooo!
TATAY: Bobo! Bugawin mo!
ANAK: Boss, chicks! P50 lng.

172. 1 bata, pinasa isang blank paper sa art teacher...
TEACHER: Bakit blank pinasa mo?
BATA: Drowing po ako ng baka at damo.
TEACHER: (tiningnan ang papel) San ang damo?
BATA: Naubos na po, kinain ng baka.
TEACHER: (kamot sa ulo) E nasan yung baka?
BATA: Ano pa gagawin ng baka diyan e wala ng damo? Siyempre umalis na! Maam! Konting utak naman!

173. DAD: Gabi na! Bakit ngayon ka lang umuwi?!
ANAK:Dad, not now. I'm tired. Daming projects, events sa school, nag-meeting pa kami with the Dean..
DAD: Mag-tigil ka! Kinder ka palang!
ANAK: You're such a loser dad!

174. AHENTE: Sir, ung bagong supermarket na na binagsakan natin ng stock, nagsara!
BOSS: Nako! eh P 1M ang binagsak natin dun ah! bakit daw nagsara?
AHENTE: Gabi na daw po, bukas naman daw.
BOSS: LOKO!

175. WIFE: Oh? Bakit ang aga mo atang umuwi ngayon?
HUSBAND: Sinunod ko lang yung sinabi sa akin ng boss ko.
WIFE: Bakit? Ano bang sinabi sa yo ng boss mo?
HUSBAND: GO TO HELL!

176. STAGES OF GROWTH and DEVELOPMENT
3 to 8 years old: paramihan ng toys.
9 to 18: pataasan ng grades
19 to 25: padamihan ng syota.
26 to 35: pagandahan ng asawa.
36 to 45: palakihan ng income.
46 to 55: padamihan ng kabit.
56 to 70: padamihan ng sakit.
70 and above: pabonggahan ng LIBING.

177. ISANG BREAK UP SCENE:
GF: Hiwalay na tayo!
BF: Akala mo makakahanap ka pa ng tulad ko?!
GF: Bakit, akala mo maghahanap pa ako ng tulad mo?

178. Boy: Di na tuloy ang kasal natin.
Girl: Bakit?!
Boy: Kuya mo kasi eh!
Girl: Hindi no! Gusto ka ng Kuya ko!
Boy: Yun nga eh…gusto ko rin ang kuya mo!

180. Japanese archeologist digging 100m down found a copper wire says: "Very good! Our great ancestors of 1000 years already had telephones."
Americans dug 200m and found optical cable says: "My God! This means our great forefathers already had broadband 2000 years ago!"
Pinoy digs 500m but found nothing says: "Ang lupit ng ninuno naten... Wireless!"

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