<body>
kidnapmyheart
Take me away cause falling in love ain't very far
information
shut up and sit down

There's one thing a quote does that nothing and no-one else can do; it can become a part of you. You may never meet the person who said it, but that person is now a companion. Quotes help you get over pain. Feel loved. Make you smile & laugh and help you through those tough days when you think no-one else knows what you're going through. To share your english quotes, tagalog quotes, jokes, corny pick-up lines, bob ong quotes just send them at quotesbox@yahoo.com or 09199573767 for SMART 09275990427 for GLOBE.


affiliates
hook me up

Ahmed. Aileen. AJ. Alexx. Alona. Alyssa. Ameraberr. An - An. Andi. Angela. Anjhelikah. Ann. Arah. Arianne. Arriane. Athena. Aurora. Awpel. B. Belle. Bianx. Blanne. Blood Eater. Bonz. C. Candice. Caryl. Cath. Charchar. Charmoii. Chie. Chrissy. Claiie. Daniella. Dean. Den. Divina. Eica. Enday. Epi. Erika. Eura. Gem. Genyze. Ghera. Gie. Gladys. Gryshee. Hersixth. Jara. Jatrice. Jeanne. Jeru. Jha. Jhanna. Jhie. Jillian. Jnx. Joan. Joane. Jonaxx Stories. Joshua. Joycee. Joyxe. Karen. Kathleen. Kezhia. Khristel. Kirstie. Kyra. Lara. Lavinia. Lei. Lhyzie. Lin. Lyzlyz. Mae. Mai. Marga. Marion. Marla. Marlene. Marly. Marky. Marrien. Mary Angel. Melody. Mervz. Mia. Milrose. Mimi. Mikayla. Miraa. Mocha. Monikels. Nadine. Nelou. Nettie. Nikki. Nishy. Neym. Nijin. Nikka. Nikz. Omi. Oswald. Paola. Paola. Patricia. Paw. Porxuhh. Rae. Rania. Ranyah. Rare Footages. Rej. Rianne. Rie. Riecel. RJ. Rod. Roland. Rosa. Roxy. Rubee. Ruby. Russet. Sah. Sam. Shalee. Shalla. Super Gulaman. Survey Girl. Steffie. Thea. Thel. Tin. Traveler's Journey. Vijay. Vulture. Yal.


tagboard
scream your lungs

memories
scary flashbacks

SPECIAL POSTS

Twilight 1-30

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES

Inspirational Quotes 1- 30
Inspirational Quotes 31- 60

QUOTES

Quotes 1- 30
Quotes 31- 60
Quotes 61- 90
Quotes 90- 120
Quotes 121- 150
Quotes 151- 180
Quotes 180- 210
Quotes 211-240
Quotes 240- 270
Quotes 271- 300
Quotes 301- 330
Quotes 331- 360
Quotes 361- 390
Quotes 391- 420
Quotes 421- 450
Quotes 451- 480
Quotes 481- 510
Quotes 511- 540
Quotes 541- 570
Quotes 571- 600
Quotes 601- 630
Quotes 631- 660
Quotes 661- 690
Quotes 691- 720
Quotes 721- 750
Quotes 751- 780
Quotes 781- 810
Quotes 810 -840
Quotes 841- 870
Quotes 870- 900
Quotes 901- 930
Quotes 931- 960
Quotes 961- 990
Quotes 991-1020
Quotes 1021- 1050
Quotes 1051- 1080
Quotes 1081- 1110
Quotes 1111 - 1140
Quotes 1141 - 1170
Quotes 1171 - 1200
Quotes 1201 - 1230
Quotes 1231 - 1260
Quotes 1261 - 1290
Quotes 1291 - 1320
Quotes 1321 - 1350
Quotes 1351 - 1380
Quotes 1381 - 1410
Quotes 1411 - 1440
Quotes 1441 - 1470
Quotes 1471 - 1500
Quotes 1501 - 1530
Quotes 1531 - 1560
Quotes 1561 - 1590

SHORT STORIES

Short Stories 1-30

TAGALOG QUOTES

Tagalog Quotes 1- 25
Tagalog Quotes 26- 50
Tagalog Quotes 51- 75
Tagalog Quotes 76- 100
Tagalog Quotes 101 -130
Tagalog Quotes 131- 160
Tagalog Quotes 161 - 180
Tagalog Quotes 181 - 210

BOB ONG QUOTES

Bob Ong Tips
Bob Ong Quotes 1- 25
Bob Ong Quotes 26-50
Bob Ong Quotes 51 - 80

JOKES

Jokes 1 - 30
Jokes 31 - 45
Jokes 45 - 75
Jokes 76 - 100
Jokes 101 -125
Jokes 126 - 150
Jokes 151 - 180
Jokes 181 - 210
Jokes 211 - 240
Jokes 241 - 270
Jokes 271 - 300
Jokes 301 - 330
Jokes 331 - 360
Jokes 361 - 390

CORNY PICK - UP LINES

Pick - up Lines 1- 20
Pick - up Lines 21 - 40
Pick - up Lines 41 - 60
Pick - up Lines 61 - 80
Pick - up Lines 81 - 100
misc
anything goes here


credits
its easy to clap
Layout : materialisti-c
Resources:
Jokes 1- 30
Friday, May 30, 200810:46 PM

1. BUSH: what are the pollutants in your country?
JINGGOY: we have a lot of pollutants. We have sisig, kilawin, chicharon, mani!
ERAP: anak… boy bawang pa.

2. Sinoli ni Erap ang libro sa library.
ERAP: sobrang dami ng characters wala naman storya.
LIBRARIAN: kayo pala kumuha ng telephone directory namin.

3. When you’re good looking, you don’t brag it. When you’re intelligent, you don’t say it. When you’re good, you don’t tell it. When you’re humble, you just keep it. Kaya lagi akong speechless eh.

4. GF: taksil! Nakita ko kanina may kasama kang babae sa Mall of Asia, holding hands pa kayo. Niloloko mo ako!
BF: di kita niloloko. Believe me. Yung kasama ko kanina ang niloloko ko.

5. PAL: we are now preparing to land in San Francisco International Airport. If you need any assistance please don’t hesitate to ask us. Hope you enjoyed your flight. Thank you. Paalala po sa mga Pilipinong pasahero, ang mga unan, kumot, plato at iba pang kagamitan sa eroplano ay di po kasama sa pasalubong. Maraming salamat po.

6. JUAN: (galing sa school) Tay mga classmates ko puro zero sa test!
AMA: talaga? Eh ikaw?
JUAN: ako? Ahehe. Syempre zero din po. Magpapatalo ba naman ako?
Looks may capture the eyes. But it’s the personality that captures the heart. Kainis! I have both.

7. JAIME ZOBEL DE AYALA: 1/2 Pinoy 1/2 Spanish.
HENRY SY: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Chinese.
LITO ATIENZA: 1/2 Hawaiian, 1/2 Polo.
MIKE ARROYO: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 pork.
JOHN OSMENA: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Pinay.
PROSPERO PICHAY: 1/2 Unggoy, 1/2 gulay.
GMA: 1/2 … only
.
8. APO: Lola halina at bagong luto pa tong arroz caldo para makahigop po kayo ng sabaw para naman po mainitan ang sikmura niyo. Halina kayo Lola
LOLA: back off bitch.

9. Kapag ipinagpalit ka ng mahal mo sa mas pangit sayo. Mahal niya talaga yun!

10. I’m so sick and tired of this cruel life. In solitude I always thread this life’s endless road amidst the spooky, cold and uncertain darkness of the night. Shouting relentlessly at the top of my lungs just to touch your ears and answer your exotic cravings.’
-magbabalut na sosyal at depressed.

11. 50 year old lady is dying of cancer. She asks God to give her 25 years more. God approves. After her successful operation, she gets facelift, liposuction, tummy tuck. Paglabas niya ng hospital, nasagasaan siya. She asks God, ‘Lord, bat sabi niyo bibigyan niyo pa ko ng 25 years para mabuhay?’
God: sorry iha hindi kita nakilala.

12. Old man was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spike hair with colors green, red, orange and blue. The old man kept staring at him that irritated the boy.
TEENAGER: never done anything wild in your life?
OLDMAN: got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I’m wondering if you’re my son.

13. Pwede tayo na lang? Pagod na kasi ako umupo eh!

14. Kailan mo masasabing panget ang isang maganda? Answer? Pag tumabi sakin!
15. A man was in love with an ugly girl. His friend asked him ‘why her?’ then the man replied immediately, ‘ano ka ba? Di ka ba nanonood ng bakekang? Gaganda rin yan eventually!’

16. DEATH of MR.BEAN’S MOTHER
Mr. Bean: (crying) the doctor just called up, my mom’s dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
(After 2 minutes, Mr. Bean cries even louder.)
Friend: what now, Mr. Bean?
Mr. Bean: my sister just called. Her mom died too.

17. MOM: anak, lutuin mo na itong gulay!!
SON: mamaya na! ginagawa ko pa tong saranggola!
MOM: punyeta! Bakit makakain mo ba yang saranggola?
SON: Hindi. Bakit lilipad ba yang gulay?

18. May isang pumapatay sa mga bisaya. Nabalitaan ito nina inday, marites, at Teresa. Nakita ng killer si inday, tinanong siya, ‘bisaya ka ba?’
‘hendi.’
PATAY!
Nagpraktis sina Teresa at marites. ‘Hinde, hinde.’
Nakita naman ng killer si Teresa.
‘Bisaya ka ba?’
‘Hinde.’
‘Anong pangalan mo?’
‘Tirisa.’
PATAY!
Nagpraktis ulit si marites, ‘hinde, marites.’
Nakita ng killer si marites.
‘bisaya ka ba?’
‘Hinde.’
‘anong pangalan mo?’
‘marites.’
Umalis ang killer. Sa tuwa, napasigaw si marites.
‘YIS!’
PATAY!

19. The ideal person goes home early, di tumatambay, di laboy ng laboy, di nagiingay, di tumotoma, di mahilig sa gimik at pormal. In short, di tayo yun! Asa ka pa! Lalo ka na!

20. If you love someone, give your best shot. If it doesn’t work, eh di wala. Shot shot ka na lang!

21. Mudra, pudra, gestong kez tinapey. Brother, sister gestong kex kafey. Lahat ng gestong kez ay kemer kemerlu. Ang magkakawiz ay pipingutin kez.
-dalawang batang bading naglalaro ng nanay-tatay.

22. NOEL: ipapangalan ko sa aking anak “LEON” baliktad ng Noel.
NINO: sa akin ONIN baliktad ng NINO.
TOTO: wag niyo akong maisali-Sali dyan sa usapan niyo!

23. NAWAWALANG LALAKI: iho san papunta itong daan na to?
BATA: papunta po sa bahay namin.
LALAKI: eh itong kabilang kalye?
BATA: palayo po sa bahay namin.

24. TEACHER: okay class! Drawing kayo ng kahit na anong uri ng isda.
STUDENTS: yes ma’am!
TEACHER: pedro bakit ang gulo ng drawing mo?
PEDRO: wag kang epal ma’am bagoong yan!

25. alone? I’m here for you. In love? I’m happy for you. Hurt? You may cry on my shoulder. Need hug? My arms are yours. Need money? Wala si Vea. Umalis. May ginagawa. Busy. Hindi niya # to. Who you? “di man kita mabigyan ng magandang buhay, mabibigyan naman kita ng magandang lahi.”

26. ‘Hindi lahat ng dinosaur, kumakain ng hayop. Yung iba, gusto lang ng hug.’
-Barney

27. Minsan, nauso ang message na ganito. Ayun, ang dami ng makapal ang mukha.

28. Minsan bumagsak ako at nawalan ng malay. Ayun, nauso ang drop-dead gorgeous.

29. Minsan pumunta ako sa isang bayan. Ayun, nauso ang crush ng bayan.
Aanhin pa ang alak, kung sayo pa lang may tama na ako!

30. Minsan may nainlove sayo. Ayun, nauso ang love is blind.

Labels:

back to the top