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kidnapmyheart
Take me away cause falling in love ain't very far
information
shut up and sit down

There's one thing a quote does that nothing and no-one else can do; it can become a part of you. You may never meet the person who said it, but that person is now a companion. Quotes help you get over pain. Feel loved. Make you smile & laugh and help you through those tough days when you think no-one else knows what you're going through. To share your english quotes, tagalog quotes, jokes, corny pick-up lines, bob ong quotes just send them at quotesbox@yahoo.com or 09199573767 for SMART 09275990427 for GLOBE.


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hook me up

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tagboard
scream your lungs

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scary flashbacks

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Twilight 1-30

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES

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Inspirational Quotes 31- 60

QUOTES

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SHORT STORIES

Short Stories 1-30

TAGALOG QUOTES

Tagalog Quotes 1- 25
Tagalog Quotes 26- 50
Tagalog Quotes 51- 75
Tagalog Quotes 76- 100
Tagalog Quotes 101 -130
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BOB ONG QUOTES

Bob Ong Tips
Bob Ong Quotes 1- 25
Bob Ong Quotes 26-50
Bob Ong Quotes 51 - 80

JOKES

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CORNY PICK - UP LINES

Pick - up Lines 1- 20
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Pick - up Lines 81 - 100
misc
anything goes here


credits
its easy to clap
Layout : materialisti-c
Resources:
Jokes 241 - 270
Sunday, April 19, 200911:01 AM
241. Ano raw sinasabi ng ipis sa mga taong humahampas sa kanya ng tsinelas? “Wow! Kung mamalo ka parang anak mo ko ah!”

242. “You may have Chemistry with her but you have history with me.”
- banat ng isang bitter at palabang ex
243. “Hindi ka nababagay ditto! Dun ka nababagay sa mga taong palara! Sa mga taong nakahiga sa salapi!”
- Robin Padilla

“Witchi ikiz najojogay ditrak! De engklachu ikiz nabobrogay sa mga broong sholara! Sa mga broong naka jigaztra sa julapi!”
- Rustom Padilla

244. I mixed vodka and water, I got drunk. I miexed gin and water, I got drunk. I mixed beer and water, I still got drunk. With those I campe up with a conclusion: Bad ang water

245. Sabi ng sosyal na ipis kay Pedro, “Wag mo ako hahampasin ng magasin!” Sabi ni Pedro, “Bakit hindi?” Sumagot si ipis, “Because only Havaianas touches my skin, who touches yours?”

246. Lasing may nakitang babae…
Lasing: Miss ang panget mo!
Babae: Kapal ng mukha mo! Ikaw naman, lasenggo!
Lasing: Haler?! Bukas din a ako lasing pero ikaw bukas pangit pa rin.

247. Kapag may kudeta sa Pilipinas…
American: We fully support the administration.
Aussie: We will send troops to the Philippines.
Chinese: We are ready to help end the political crisis.
Japanese: We condemn any unconstitutional grab of power.
Pinoy: May pasok ba?:))

248. Caloy: Tay, nagtatanong titser namin kung ano daw po ang trabaho nyo.
Tatay: Sabihin mo CARPENTER anak.
Caloy: Ano po yung CARPENTER Tay?
Tatay: Tagapinta ng kotse.

249. Kahit hindi man ganun kasarap ang buhay, habang buhay naman akong masarap.

250. Some of us have been thorugh losts of tests and I know most of us copied.

251. Ginusto mo rin naman ako di ba? Bakita ngayon nahihirapan ka sakin? Ganun ba ako kaistorbo sa paningin mo?
- Bangs

252. “Huwag masyadong ipakita ang kaseksihan o pagiging hot dahil nakakadagdag lang ito sa init ng panahon. Help save the world from global warming, okay?

253. Dad: Gabi na! Bakit ngayon ka lang umuwi?
Anak: dad, not now. I am tired. Dami projects, dami events sa school. Nag- meeting pa kami with dean.
Dad: Magtigil ka junior! Kinder ka pa lang!

254. Tatay: Anak, bakla ka ba?
Anak: Opo.
*Sabay lubog ng mukha ng anak sa harina*
T: Ano? Ngayon lalaki ka na ba?
A: Geisha na po.
*Nagalit ang tatay sabay nilubog ang mukha ng anak sa balding puno ng tuibg*
T: Hgayon ano ka na?! Sagot!
A: Dyesebel na po.
*Nagalit lalo ang tatay kaya pinaso niya ito ng plantsa hanggang sa siya’y nangitim*
T: Punyeta ka! Ano ka na ngayon?
A: Ako na po si Beyonce

255. Kapag bilugan ang mukha mo, wag ka masyado mag- ngingiti. Baka mapagkamalan kang YAHOO MESSENGER.

256. Kung gagawa ka ng isang bagay na di pa naiimbento, ano yun? Ako? Gagawa ako ng…
Redhorse capsule 500mg, isang tableta lang, sapul agad! Ito ang tama.
ALSO AVAILABLE:
Redhorse syrup, for babies 6- 12 months.
Redhorse litro pack, natitimplang redhorse.
Redhorse candy, para kahit may pasok.

257. Noon, maraming babae ang hindi maganda. Ngayon, maraming maganda ang hindi naman babae.

258. I was walking down an alley ng may biglang sumigaw, “HOY GANDA!” Nagalit ako saka ko sinapak at sinabing, “Wag na wag mo akong tatawaging HOY!”

259. Kung naiirita ka na sa saleslady na ang laging tanong lang ay, "Ano pong hanap nyo?" Sagutin mo ng, "Kapayapaan at pagkakaisa." Tiyak mawiwindang yun!

260. GF: Baby, marunong ka magdota, di ba?
BF: Yup baby. Bakit?
GF: Pwede mo ba ko turuan?
BF: Sige ba. Bakit mo gusto matuto?
GF: Para malaman mo ang feeling ng pinagpapalit ka sa dota. 

261. Mga Pagbabago:
Noon, pag maganda ligawan mo na agad. Ngayon, pag maganda, titigan mo muna ng mabuti baka bakla.
- Bebe Gandanghari
Noon, konti lang ang lalaking gwapo. Ngayon, konting gwapo na lang ang tunay na lalaki.
- Piolo and Sam
Noon, pag gwapo babaero. Ngayon, pati mga panget babaero na rin.
- Manny Pacquiao

262. Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So wake up in the afternoon. Tipid pa sa almusal.

263. Imagine life without girls:
- phones silent
- malls empty
- no valentine
- no cosmetics
- no flowers
-no noise
-at mamamatay sa tuwa ang mga bakla

264. Being a college student is fun and easy! As easy as taking a stroll in the park, the JURASSIC park.

265. B: Do you know that my love for you is like the limit of a constant over a variable as the variable approaches zero?
G: Ano yun?
B: Infinity!
G: Ganun? E lam mo bang ang love ko sayo at parang limit of a function of x as x approaches ‘a’ if the function og x is equal to ‘c’ if x is greater that ‘a’ and is equal to ‘d’ if x is less that or equal to ‘a’?
B: Ano naman yun?
G: it doesn’t exist

266. Student’s slogan:
Kung hindi kayang ilagay sa maliit na utak, ilagay sa maliit na papel.

267. What is love?
Mathematician: Love = 1/0
- undefined
Physicist: Love is the force of attraction between two hearts.
Biologist: Love is produced by the hypothalamus.
Chemist: Love is the saturated solution of feelings.
Philosopher: Love is consupiscience to rationality.
Programmer: Love is a bug of everything.
Meteorologist: Love is the rain, binds together earth and sky.
Emo: Love is hatred.
Writer: Love is the persfect word for similes and metaphors.
Noli de Castro: Pag- ibig ba kabayan? Murang pabahay.

268. Pag nagmahal ka ng may course na:
Fine Arts – drawing lagi ang sinasabi
Accountancy – kuripot
Psychology – may saltik
Criminology – bantay sarado ka
I.T. – bobolahin ka sa internet
Education – tuturuan ka ng kung anu – ano
Masscom – puro pacute
Law – sinungaling
Nursing – maalaga, mapagmahal, understanding, saya kasama, mabango, neat, matalino at most of all magaling sa kama. Bed making di ba? May bed bath pa nga e.

269. Simple lang ang gusto ko. Ang gusto ko, yun ang masusunod.

270. Minsan, naiisip ko wag na lang magmahal para hindi ako masaktan. Pero, anong magagawa ko? Pwede bay un? Alangan namang biguin ko ang sandamakmak na nahuhumaling sa akin, di ba?


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