46. Kung bibigyan ka ng pagkakataong maging artista, ano ka? SINUSWERTE??

47. If the sun had not been made, ako sana ang hottest thing ever created!xD

48. If only Adam and Eve were Pinoys, they would not commit original sin. Why? They would ignore the fruit and instead eat the snake. Pulutan dude, anlupet!

49.Boy1: Pare, nagaway kame ng gf ko?
Boy2: Bakit naman?
Boy3: She asked for a gift, sabi nya kahit ano basta may diamond.
Boy2: Yun naman pala eh, ano niregalo mo?
Boy1: Baraha=)

50. Guard: Sir, ID nyo po?
Dodong: Eto oh!
Guard: i- pin nyo po, sir.
Dodong: Grabe naming higpit ditto pati ipin tinitignan.

51. A winning horse doesn’t know why it runs a race. It runs because of the whip and pain. Life is a race; if you are in pain, then clearly, you are a horse. =P

52. If you want someone, don’t expect that person to just go and fly to you. You should put a little bit of effort and sprinkle of patience into it. You’ll see but if it doesn’t work well, you just have to do it the hard way. There are the words: kidnapping, harassment and blackmail. Just be creative!=D

53. 3 baliw sa mental ngkwekwenhan:
B1: ako presidente dto.
B2: wla ka saken,ako si bush, presidente sa america!
B1:cno nagsbi?
B2:ang dios!
B3:at kelan kta cnabihan??

54. Minsan nawala ako sa Pilipinas. Mula noon, nauso ang Search for Bb. Pilipinas.

55. I once approached a little girl and asked her, “What do you know about love?” the little girl replied, “Love is when a boy takes you to the park, buys you an ice cream, tells you that you’re the prettiest girl in the whole park and when he sees the ice cream melting thru your fingers, he would gently lick it, look in your eyes, kiss you, put his tongue in, moves his hands towards your breast, kisses your neck while his hands moves all the way down.”
- hahaha. Ang wild na talaga ng mga kids tofay noh?=P

56. Isang araw nagulat ang amo dahil bumalik ang naglayas si Inday.
Amo: Bumalik ka? Bakit?
Inday: I care about my job, sir. I care about you.
-Inday the Care Giver

57. Pasosyal na girl sa bus.
Girl: Mang conductor, can you get my luggage please? Medyo mabigat kasi.
Konduktor: Alin dito miss?
Girl: Uhmm..There oh, yung sako!=P

58. Miss Universe Intro
Gutom ako, guton kayo, gutom tayong lahat.
- Hungary
Olah viola kaserola tinola saranggola arinola ni lola
- Venezuela
Boom kabum, kablam!
- Afghanistan
Malay mo, malay niya, malay nating lahat
- Malaysia
Baha doon, baha dito, baha sa buong mundo
- Bahamas
Hindi sa kin, hindi sayo. Kanino sya?
- Kenya
One way, two way, there’s no other way
- Norway
Sing ka na, sing ka pa, ilabas ang magic sing
- Singapore

59. Pedro: Hello! May I know hoe long the flight to San Francisco is?
Operator: Just a minute, Sir.
Pedro: Really? Thank you.

60. Empleyado: Boss, namatay pala manager natin, pwede po bang ako na lang ang pumalit sa pwesto nya?
Boss: Pwede naman, ewan ko lang kung papayag ang funeraria.

61. Friend1: May taning na buhay ko. Last night ko na ito. Text text tayo buong gabi ha?
Friend2: heh! Tumigil kanga, maaga pa ko gigising bukas, buti ikaw hindi na!
62. By persistently remaining single, I am slowly converting myself into a permanent public temptation.

63. If someone hurts you, don’t bother, if someone fools you, don’t mind. If someone breaks your heart, forget it. Remember, time doesn’t heal the wound, platelets do!=P

64. When the heart starts beating, there’s really nothing you can do but to heed its call. When the heart starts beating, you are so dead. For sure, you’ll get caught. Sharam daram, dararam!
- Kapag Tumibok ang Puso, English Version. Anak ng..pati ba naman to pinatulan?

65. Dati lahat ng lalaki ay gwapo. Ngayon, hindi lahat ng gwapo ay lalaki.

66. Student: Sir, kumusta po grades ko?
Teacher: Aba iha! Maganda, kasing ganda ng buhok mo.
Student: Talaga po?!Wow naman!
Teacher: oo iha, Parang hair mo… BAGSAK!

67. Ang pag- aaral ay parang isang mahabang niyahe, masarap tulugan.

68. Kapag tinanong ka ng mga magulang mo kung anong napapala mo sa kakainom, tanungin mo din sila kung anong napapala nila sa kasesermon! =D

69. Kanina, nagpunta ko sa tindahan para magpaload. Nagulat ako dahil biglang sumigaw yung tindera “si VEA nakasmart budy naaaa!” sabi ko naman, “ate! Relaks! Loyal ako sa globe noh!”

70. If you will see me vrying, don’t wipe my tears because, “only BELO touches my skin, who touches yours?”

71. BF: (Nagdadrive) Babe, pakiss naman oh.
GF: Ano ka ba? Nagdadrive ka e, gusto mo mabunggo tayo? Ako na lang kikiss sayo
BF: o sige, babe.
GF: Pikit ka muna! : )

72. MISIS: Hon, bakit ang dumi- dumi mo at ang baho mo pa?
MISTER: Nakita mo ba yung maliit na imburnal sa kanto?
MISIS: Oo.
Mister: Pwes! Ako hindi!

73. Sa paradise of Eden…
EVE: Adam, do you really love me?
ADAM: Tang- ina! Bakit meron pa bang iba?

74. Ang sweet isipin pag nag- text sayo yung bf.gf mo tapos sabi, “morning mahal ko! I love you so much mo! Mwah” pero di mo alam, SEND TO MANY pala.

75. Sabi nila balang araw mararanasan ko ding magmahal. Sabi ko naman “HAhahahahaha.”